Listography : 5 things that make me happy - By Mya

Yo!

Long time no speakio.
I must apologise for this, my schedule has been jam packed (Mmmm, Jam!) with important toddler affairs. People to see, furniture to lick, you know the deal.
However on checking my diary today I discovered that I had a slot free to write a little post on ye olde bloggio!

I thought, today, I would join in with Kate takes 5's Listography. This week is all about things that make you happy. I will just jump right in. Here we goo ...

1. Monkey. He's like totally my best mate. Monkey - I loves you squishy dude!

2. Peppa Pig. Hi, my name is Mya and I am a Peppaholic. 

3. My Ma 'n' Pa. All jokes aside, good old Baldy and Tubbs are pretty cool. If not a little weird ..

4. Food. All food. And if it's your food it tastes even better! 

5. Dancin'. There's nothing quite like a good old boogie I say! Get those endolphin thingys swimming around ya!  

Well that's five! I could go on with more things but I have a pressing appointment with a fridge door that is in dire need of magnet rearrangement. 

Catch ya later guys!

Coming off Citalopram - Part 3

Well I failed the last attempt to come off Citalopram and actually went backwards and started taking them every day again for a while.

As I explained in a previous post, I sort of lost myself after we moved house. It was almost as though I had left myself at the old place. In order to get a house we could afford at the size we needed we had to downgrade to a less desirable area. Now I don't like to think of myself as a snob but I found it very difficult to adjust to being associated with this area.

My anxiety kicked in ten fold and I wouldn't leave the house. I even found it difficult to open the door when someone knocked. In retrospect it is actually quite funny picturing me cowering behind my front door, peering through the peep hole, sheepishly asking "who is it please?" through the letterbox like a scared, little old lady! It got pretty bad. I felt so guilty for Mya keeping her trapped inside the house with her mother too terrified to even step outside her front door to put the rubbish bags out. I went to see my GP and they prescribed beta blockers along with my Citalopram. The beta blockers have worked wonders. They take away the feelings of fear, racing heart, shaking and sweating, leaving just the irrational thoughts which I can deal with separately.

About a week or two ago, I finally 'found myself' again.

Since then I have been leaving the house, visiting friends and doing simple tasks like popping to the shops to get bread and milk without suffering panic attacks.

I went back to the doctors for a follow up on the beta blockers and asked if I could change anti-depressants as I was unhappy with Citalopram and was reluctant to increase the dosage again. They prescribed Fluoxetine but told me I had to stop Citalopram completely for a week before starting the new ones.
I was like 'you frickin' kidding me??' How was I supposed to do that when I had taken so long just to cut down the dosages!

Well, I did it.

Do not ask me how. I don't know. And it has only been a few days but so far so good. I haven't taken any Citalopram and am hoping if I manage to stay off them for the rest of the week that I will not go onto the Fluoxetine either. It feels bizarre even writing it, especially as it is so soon, but for the first time in a long, long time, I feel free. I feel happy. And I would just love it to last a little while.

Just a little while to enjoy being me - Citalopram free.


Read Coming off Citalopram - Part 1
Read Coming off Citalopram - Part 2
Read Coming off Citalopram - Part 4

Mya's first snow

Mya missed out on the snow last year.
We lived in a flat without a garden and she was a little too small to take out for long in the cold.
I have never much liked snow myself. It's cold, wet and has the amazing ability to throw me onto my arse  ... every time!
But there is something about it. No matter how much I want to hate it, I find it so captivating.
I looked outside the windows of my flat at all of the small children playing in the snow and couldn't wait for the time that I could to show it to Mya.

It started snowing today when Mya was in bed for her nap.
When she woke up, one of the first things she spotted was the snow falling. Her face lit up and she looked at me with her little face full of excitement and curiosity.

Look, it's snow! I said.

Running up to the window she clambered up the sofa to get a closer look at the garden sprinkled with white dust.

Snow, snow! she exclaimed.

She couldn't get dressed fast enough when we asked her if she would like to go outside. Throwing on the most random choice of clothes she bounced with anticipation.

Owside, owside!

She wandered outside into the white unknown holding on tight to her daddy.

I snapped away with my camera and this is the face I captured.

A face full of wonder.

A face full of joy.

She threw herself around in the snow, running and slipping onto her bum countless times.

She threw snowballs and tried sweeping it up with a dustpan and brush.
She didn't even seem to notice the cold biting at her cheeks and nipping at her tiny fingers.
Even when daddy got cold and announced that we should probably go inside she shook her head and carried on sweeping!

She loved it.

There really is nothing more amazing and beautiful than watching your child discovering something new.

The Gallery - Me right now

This theme this week on The Gallery is Me Right Now.

Mya has decided that whenever I am on the computer that she must be sat on my lap.
She thinks it is a hilarious game pressing buttons and watching my reaction when pages disappear and the screen turns sideways.
Today is no exception and even now typing this I am pushing away chubby little moo hands!

No Mya, NO!

kjj.jjbvvvvvvvvvvvvk.jjk  hk.jio99999999999hjhjjjjjj o'''''hujcgcghb  hhjgWGD,MJVHJVKKK

She says hello

finding 'me' again

Hello!
It has been a while!

I haven't really blogged since before I moved house just before Christmas.
It feels weird to be back.
To be honest, I didn't know if I would be back.
I loved blogging but after I moved, I fell into a bit of a depression. I was thrown into this new house, in a new area and I felt as though I had moved all of my belongings but left 'me' behind.
Finally, I feel now, after lots of tears, a packet of Beta Blockers and a shed load of junk food, like I am starting to adjust.
It took a while. To let go of the old place. To find 'me' again.

You may have noticed the blog looks different!
Well I have celebrated finding 'me' again with a blog makeover!
A new look for a new start!

It's good to be back!

I thought seeing as I have been gone so long that I would fill you in on some of the things you have missed.
The thing is, that because of my anxiety and depression, you haven't missed a lot!
So to save you a months worth of moaning and self pity, I will update you with some photos!
They are mainly of Mya because, well, no one wants to see pictures of me in my pyjamas with my head buried inside a bag of Doritos, crying because my ass has fused to the sofa!

And the winner of Cutest Pout 2012 goes to....

Just chillin mum!



Giggles with my little nutter

 

I turned 25!
Where's my Zimmer?!

Busted!

I put my foot down at letting her sleep with her Peppa Pig shaped bubble bath ...
... here are some of the things that did make it in!



'Helping' mummy sweep the leaves!

Cheeky Moo

You can also watch some super cute video clips on TTBG's YouTube!

Daddy's dojo

Chris is a kickboxing instructor and so works at a dojo.

Mya loves the big open space with cushioned floors.

It allows her to run around and roly poly to her hearts content!

We took a trip up to see him at work and let Mya loose on the mats!

Silent Sunday

Listography - My top 5 photos of 2011

In my first proper post of the year, I have chosen to share with you five of my most loved photos from 2011.
Choosing only five photos from my monstrous collection of snaps proved to be a lot easier than expected.
Thinking about how I could possibly choose only five brought me out in a cold sweat so I took the easy option. I simply scrolled through the photos and picked the top 5 which jumped out at me, evoking the most emotion.
These were the five which made me all warm and gooey inside.

1. I chose this photo simply due to the fact that it is awesome. It is a very grainy, bad quality photo taken on my old Blackberry but I adore it. I love the beautiful mess, the glorious gummy grin and the glimmer of pure joy and a hint of mania in her eyes, having just discovered the existance of chocolate!

2. When Mya turned one, I felt sad. My baby was growing up too fast. But after realising that shaking my fist at the unfairness of time was pointless and, in fact, wasting even more precious time, I took a look at my little girl and this is what I saw. The most beautiful little fairy princess, enjoying her very first birthday party. And I no longer felt sad.

3. Taken not long after the previous picture, this is one of the only photos of me and Mya where neither of us are pulling a silly face or grinning inanely. I have always loved natural photos where emotion isn't forced and this is a lovely, relaxed shot of us both enjoying the sun and watching the ducks on the pond.

4. I love this photo. This was Mya's first trip to the seaside. It was a wonderful, spur of the moment trip to the beach with my mum and Mya. Mya loved it. Her little legs couldn't carry her fast enough as she bounded into the waves. This photo reminds me of that day and Mya's first trip to See the Sea!

5. And last but not least, I chose this snap, just because it makes me chuckle. My beautiful weirdo.

Happy new year everyone!

Saturday is Caption Day

So we are moving house tomorrow...

*Cue dramatic music which invokes fear and concern for my sanity and my life!*

Thanks guys, I knew you would understand ...

Now think up a fab caption for this pic before I look at another cardboard box and explode!

Crismiss

I'm proper confused.
Everyone has gone mad!

Everyone is going on about Crismiss.
What is this voodoo that has taken over the world?

It all started with a tree.
I thought Great, I love a bit of nature in the home but then came the giant box of sparkles and lights and glittery balls which Mum and Dad told me I could chuck on the tree. I took the most literal translation and lobbed the glitter balls at it Olympic shot put style!
But then the once lovely, green tree looked more like a survivor from an explosion at a glitter factory.
Poor thing.
I keep trying to steal the glitter balls when mum isn't looking so the poor tree can reclaim some dignity but Mum usually catches me and makes me put them back.

If the tree thing wasn't bad enough we went shopping the other day.
I was well excited because mum kept saying we had to go buy presents! But we got to the shops and, I shiz you not, we were there for hours and I didn't get one present. Not one! Mum said we got them for other people for Crismiss.
Mum tried to console me with a biscuit.
I threw it at her head.

Oh yeah, I want to ask you about this bloke. Santa?
Yeah, well he is everywhere. On cards, posters, TV adverts and you know what, he was even on the Peppa Pig Crismiss special! Who is this dude?
There was this guy in town dressed up like Santa (I could tell it wasn't the real Santa because beards generally stay on peoples faces when you yank them) and Mum went insane ...

Look, Mya, LOOK!! It's Santa ... SANTA!! Do you see, Mya? IT'S SANTAAAAA!!!

Insane.

Seriously, who is he?
He must be pretty awesome if everyone is dressing up like him.
Mum even dressed ME up like him!

I know what you are thinking,

Red is totally my colour,

But that's not the point. The point is, who the badger is Santa?

Everyone has gone mad with Crismiss cheer. People are singing songs about mistletoe and wine. There are small children in gangs singing in very high pitched voices about donkeys and babies and there are vandalised, pimped up trees everywhere!

Crismiss. I am starting to think it is some sort of government conspiracy.

And I bet this Santa guy is in on it.

He looks well shifty if you ask me!

So everyone is asking me what I want for Crismiss. 

Answers. I want answers.

And maybe some cake.

But mainly I want answers.

But do not fear. Watch this space.

Detective Moo is on the case!